Musician Librarian to be

January 17th

pamflute — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 11:52:34 +0000

Who Am I?
by Dietrich Bonhoeffer

This article appeared in the Journal Christianity and Crisis, March 4, 1946. Used by permission. This article was prepared for Religion Online by Ted & Winnie Brock.

–>Who am I? They often tell me I stepped from my cell’s confinement Calmly, cheerfully, firmly, Like a squire from his country-house. Who am I? They often tell me I used to speak to my warders Freely and friendly and clearly, As though it were mine to command. Who am I? They also tell me I bore the days of misfortune Equally, smilingly, proudly, Like one accustomed to win.

Am I then really all that which other men tell of? Or am I only what I myself know of myself? Restless and longing and sick, like a bird in a cage, Struggling for breath, as though hands were compressing my throat, Yearning for colors, for flowers, for the voices of birds, Thirsting for words of kindness, for neighborliness, Tossing in expectation of great events, Powerlessly trembling for friends at an infinite distance, Weary and empty at praying, at thinking, at making, Faint, and ready to say farewell to it all?

Who am I? This or the other? Am I one person today and tomorrow another? Am I both at once? A hypocrite before others, And before myself a contemptibly woebegone weakling? Or is something within me still like a beaten army, Fleeing in disorder from victory already achieved? Who am I? They mock me, these lonely questions of mine. Whoever I am, Thou knowest, 0 God, I am Thine!

March 4,1946

It is comforting to know that someone like Bonhoeffer who I admire so much, had strugges and doubts. In reading Bread and Water, Wine & Oil just now, I come to realize that all human beings construct a false self and they try to nurture that instead of insisting on the truth about myself. To get to the core of “who I am” is really hard and Bonhoeffer’s final thought – whoever I am, you Lord know, I am yours! Help me to make that true. Life really is a lifelong struggle to get to the truth of that statement.

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Monday holiday

pamflute — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 13:16:29 +0000

This has been a busy weekend! Saturday I helped Beth get ready for her move. Sunday I went to church, came home and did a lot of nothing. It was good for once. Today I’m trying to get started on a cleaning project, but haven’t done anything yet. Time to get going!

Carol of the Bells – Happy December 24th

pamflute — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 14:41:41 +0000

Salvation is Created

pamflute — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 14:23:14 +0000

Homily on Job from the Prologue

pamflute — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 13:36:53 +0000

The Lord gave and the Lord hath taken away (Job 1:21).
Brethren, let the righteous one fear nothing; all shall be well with him. The whole of Sacred Scripture shows us that God will never forsake the righteous. The example of Job shows us this as clearly as the sun. Job had seven sons and three daughters; he had riches, respect among the people, and friends. And he lost all of this in one day. He did not grumble against God but fell down upon the ground and worshiped and said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb and naked shall I return thither (Job 1:20-21). Then Job lost his health, the last of what he had, and his entire body, from the top of his head to the heels of his feet, was covered with sores and pus. And Job sat in ashes and lifted up praise to God. His wife tried to persuade him to renounce his God, but righteous Job said to her: Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? (Job 2:10). His friends reproached him, saying that he was sinful and proud in his understanding and righteousness before them, but Job humbly prayed to God and patiently endured all his wounds and misfortunes.
It happens today, as it did then, that when some misfortune befalls us, our neighbors consider themselves to be more intelligent and more righteous than we are. But the most wise God permitted all these misfortunes to fall on Job in order to test not only Job His servant but also his kinsmen and his friends. When each of them had shown what kind of person he was, when each of them had been tested before God, then God, with His almighty right hand, restored Job to health, returned twice as much wealth as He had taken away, and gave him again seven sons and three daughters.
He who has strong faith, brethren, has clear spiritual sight, so that he can see the finger of God in his prosperity as well as in his suffering. He who has strong faith also has great patience in suffering. When God gives to him, he gives thanks, and when God takes away, he blesses: Blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21).
O Lord, the God of the long-suffering and patient Job, teach us to bless Thy name in our sufferings.
To Thee be glory and praise forever. Amen.

See Amid the Winter’s snow

pamflute — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 13:19:24 +0000

December 19, 2011

pamflute — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 13:15:10 +0000

Yesterday was a very happy day. I got to do so much of what I wanted to do. The SPC choir and musicians presented a short collection of carols yesterday and I got to play with the strings. It was satisfying work. At 5:00 p.m. Jon and I went to St. John’s Episcopal Church for their annual Christmas program and I was in heaven! The music was beautiful and I especially liked “Bethlehem Down”, a minor, lovely piece. I loved almost all of it. If I went there more than three times, I should never want to leave. This is my favorite church music and makes me want to study English music even more, as well as English history. It is hard to escape the fact that this feels like my heritage. Jon and I watched the Grinch movie and a nice, sentimental piece about Thomas Kinkade called The Christmas Cottage. I am posting a copy of “See Amid the Winter’s Snow”. It is a great thing to discover new carols every year. Though I should have known it, I really had never heard it, but Riu riu chiu is also a lovely piece.

Soli Deo Gloria

pamflute — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 12:51:06 +0000

This morning I am still basking in the glow of last night’s performance. But lest I think I have anything to do with it – like most good things in my life – they often happen in spite of me, not because of me. When I think of the last four years and the trouble I have had with the harp kids and then to see them perform like I had hoped they would – was a blessing! It was a triumph and I am more than pleased. This is the time to say, “Not unto us, Lord, not unto us, but to thy name give glory”. Soli Deo gloria – to God alone be the glory.

Once in Royal David’s City

pamflute — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 22:33:15 +0000

Sunday, December 11, 2011

pamflute — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 22:25:59 +0000

I haven’t written anything in forever. I am looking forward to Christmas and all the festivities that accompany it. Yesterday I was initiated into Beta Phi Mu, the library honor society. This is a “first” for me in college.

I have a quote and a video to add to this post:

Our Lord Jesus took in His hands what in the beginning was only bread; and He blessed it, and signed it, and made it holy in the name of the Father and in the name of the Spirit; and He broke it and in His gracious kindness He distributed it to all His disciples one by one. He called the bread His living Body, and did Himself fill it with Himself and the Spirit.

And extending His hand, He gave them the Bread which His right hand had made holy: “Take, all of you eat of this, which My word has made holy. Do not now regard as bread that which I have given you; but take, eat this Bread, and do not scatter the crumbs; for what I have called My Body, that it is indeed. One particle from its crumbs is able to sanctify thousands and thousands, and is sufficient to afford life to those who eat of it. Take, eat, entertaining no doubt of faith, because this is My Body, and whoever eats it in belief eats in it Fire and Spirit. But if any doubter eat of it, for him it will be only bread. And whoever eats in belief the Bread made holy in My name, if he be pure, he will be preserved in his purity; and if he be a sinner, he will be forgiven.” But if anyone despise it or reject it or treat it with ignominy, it may be taken as a certainty that he treats with ignominy the Son, who called it and actually made it to be His Body. (Songs of Praise 4.4)